Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in. It’s not just a place where they measure your stay by the amount of money in your pocket, just like the town hotel rooms. You know what I mean by home; home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.
A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it. You see its home, where, to precisely put it in conspiracy, everything is not enough, but life is complete and happy. You drink some milk with bread, put your boots on (if there is some), cross some gorges, planes, rivers and valley,… and get it done. Nobody is on your way and you are in nobody’s way too.
Growing up in such a group home, with hardly little knowledge of the other world, the odds of success doesn’t really come on your side, at least into your conscience in terms of the ‘modern’ world definitions. But when the time comes for you to join the ‘modern’ schools, you learn the value of discipline, focus, persistence, and teamwork – all skills and rules that are said to have proven vital to your career, from someone’s experience, as a teacher, engineer, accountant, lawyer, C.E.O, marketer, social entrepreneur, etc.
Then you are pronounced graduate and get some job very eager to apply all the rules and regulations you were taught with all your fresh energy. You have childhood dreams that after all the ups and downs in school, you deserve a better life, and now is the time for that payback. Your family, relatives, friends and every one on your way who lend a hand on your way to school was also expecting this golden moment, and expectation kills. You were congratulated, you know that.
Now you are in the right place. Your fear of acquiring a job after graduation has come to an end. You are at work.
Among the staff of your office, you’ll hear some complains that they’ve been employed for the past 10 years, but still staggering to survive. You say huh, 10 years?! Some will say they have been in office for the past fifteen years and they cannot even afford to pay the house rent they deserve. You will get surprised that how in the hell can somebody with 15 years of work experience stay employed while they can easily open a private business and get rich, blab bla bla. But you feel you are not like them and things will work out for you in the direction of your dreams. Complaining after fifteen years of service is not in your to-do-list and you are not such a bad ass to be that man.
One year goes, you are still energetic; three years gone, you are still hopeful; five years gone, and you are still in the same economic status, you start questioning yourself. You were very different from the ‘has-beens’ for the past five years. You start communication anyway. You know birds of the same feather fly together.
Now ten years of work experience, ten years of following school rules and regulations, ten years of giving honest service and humble work with all the ‘skills that are said to have proven vital to your career, from someone’s experience’ have brought nothing into your life, but frustrations and family claims. You are rich in the eyes of your families, relatives and old friends,… but probably you are mean. You had to marry a beautiful woman some 5, 6, 7 years ago. You are always being asked by your family.
Your dream of opening your own company after diligently working for five yours has already evaporated. By now, you already have forgotten that ‘immature’ dream, may be it was a ‘luxurious’ dream. You are fighting for survival. You find yourself miles away from your innocent dreams in opposite directions. What is more fatal is the fact that, after all this unexpected travel, you are not still clear why you are not successful. Some of your schoolmates have succeeded. All you see is their success. You only paid attention to the final stage they are in. What you didn’t see, or probably what they didn’t tell you is, what they’ve overcome. What they didn’t tell you is the rules they have broken, the procedures they jumped, the ‘right’ ways of doing things they ignored. The wrong doings they did to get money that they can’t still get rid of their mind. You see (school) rules don’t apply universally.
Your high school straight ‘A’s, your university ‘very great distinctions’, your clear and neat assignments, your very structured proposal writing skills have enabled you to somehow organize the office and facilitate work. You probably have been acknowledged by your boss. But you can’t find their exchange in your pocket.
Time teaches you more than anything else. In the course of time, you always amend your New Year resolutions, no matter what. While doing so, you face the ugly truth that you are too late to realize some of your dreams, you find some lost forever, some are stolen and some silly immature dreams. You’ve erased many anyway. In the ups and downs of your life, you find it very hard to accept you have lost your dreams. While you are a man like everyone else, a man enough to safeguard your dreams, time witnesses you lost them whatever.
Now try to stop all connections with your past and think about success differently. What is success for you? While some of your friends ‘succeeded’, you didn’t. But so is true that, while some of your friends passes away so early, you still didn’t. While some of your friends are very rich, they don’t have time for themselves. So who are they working for then? Neither they nor their family are very happy with it.
To realize our dreams and succeed in life, knowing success is not the only way. Like success, failure is many things to many people. It seems, at least for me, there is a common goal of success, happiness. Some people’s happiness is attached to a property (car, house, etc), someone’s is attached to increasing bank account, someone’s is attached to fame, someone’s is attached to other’s happiness and similarly someone finds his happiness in as simple as a bottle of beer. It would be good to have a house, a car, a good bank account and a beer too. But they don’t equally make happy to everyone. It’s better to find where your happiness lies. Sometimes while you have gone far searching for happiness, you find it back at home. ‘A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.’
And it’s very true as well that, ‘It’s not the years in our life that counts; it’s the life in the years that counts.’